I'm holding out for a hero...

Being a somewhat intelligent, independent gal, I tend to pride myself on being able to take care of business. If my toilet is broken, or my sink is clogged, I pull out my ultimate tool-kit and fix it. However, there are some things I just don't have the time or inclination to learn regardless of how much easier it would make my life. It's these instances when I have to seek outside help which fuel my unhealthy tendency toward 'Hero Worship'. Take, for example, my computer. I know how to screw around on Facebook and Youtube; how to send emails and type this blog. That is the extent of my knowledge of computers and their capabilities. This is why I tend to develop crushes on the pasty, level-9 dungeon masters that work at the Apple store, when they fix my problems and show me how to use Iphoto while passive-aggressively mocking me.

This is also why there are few things more attractive to me than "car guys". Mechanics, tow-truck drivers, or just dudes that know stuff, like how to change your oil. I tend to drive older cars; the one I am currently getting around in is possibly the crappiest car I've ever owned, yet it never gave me any problems until last week. On my way to work one day it died on me, so I had to call a tow-truck the following day to come haul it down the road to my mechanic. When the truck arrived and the driver got out, I was immediately smitten. He was bald, tan, had a goatee and was wearing the ubiquitous dark-grey mechanic pants and button down shirt, both streaked with grease/dirt. He was HOT. Though, if I'm being honest about this, he could have been overweight, middle-aged and covered in open sores and I probably still would've thought he was HOT because he was 'rescuing me', in a manner of speaking. I know it's silly, but I don't think I'm alone in this.

I have had crushes on doctors, policemen and most notably, veterinarians. People tend to find it off-putting when I compare their children to my cats, but I don't care. The fact is, I've had my cats longer than most of my friends have had their kids, so to me it's the same thing--mine just have fur. When they get sick, I panic because I don't know how to fix them. Thankfully, I have a wonderful vet, who not only takes great care of them, but doesn't judge or talk down to me when I am being over-protective and unreasonable. He is a big, hairy, manly, Italian-looking guy, yet he is unbelievably gentle and kind to my boys. There are times when I want to throw him down on that stainless steel examination table and ravage him, (once my cats are safely secured back in their carrier, of course). A few years back, my eldest had to have surgery to remove a tumor on his leg. I was an emotional mess the entire morning, until finally Dr. Handsome called to tell me everything had gone well, the tumor was gone and my baby would be just fine. I was so overwhelmed with love for him at that moment, I seriously considered leaving my boyfriend of the time to pursue this wondrous healer.

I know it's psychological, but is that so bad? People are attracted to other people for a plethora of stupid reasons, many of which are far more superficial. If someone falls in love with me for my cupcake-baking skills and trivial pursuit prowess, who am I to question it? Especially if they know how to lay tile or grout a tub.

just checking

This one goes out to the one I love...

There are few things in this world I enjoy more than listening to the radio. I think it dates back to when I was in junior high and although I had to be in bed by a certain time, my parents couldn't stop me from listening to the "Top Ten @ 10" on my town's local Top 40 station. The cool thing to do back then was call in and request songs, which of course I did from the landline next to my bed since this was before everyone had cellular telephones and the Interweb. A couple years later when I entered high school and developed a crush on a particular boy, I would lie in bed night after night calling in to request the same song:

"F.M. 97, you're caller #4, what do you want to hear?!"

"Hi! I'd like to dedicate a song."

"Oh. Hi Jess. 'Love of a Lifetime' by Firehouse?"

"Yup. Going out to Tim from Jess."

"Yeah. I know. I will see if I can get it on for you."

It was all so fabulously pointless. If I had thought things through, I would have realized the chances of him ever hearing one of my pathetic little dedications were slim to none considering he was totally punk-rock and would've rather driven nails through his head than listen to a Top 40 station.

Fast forward...my tastes have changed a little. I'm mostly a 'talk radio' gal now and while I love tuning in to hear 'Car Talk' and 'This American Life', as well as the nut jobs that are on 'Coast to Coast A.M.' every night, I also have a soft spot for the simplicity and purity that is 'Delilah after Dark'. You can find her on your local soft-rock radio station from 7 until mid-night, fielding calls from trailer parks all across this great country. She listens to peoples' happy, sad, tragic and inspiring stories then offers some gentle wisdom while choosing the perfect easy-listening song to play for their situation. Finding the right song is not something to be taken lightly, nor is it always an easy task, yet Delilah makes it seem effortless. It's evident she takes her job as the self-appointed "Queen of sappy love songs" very seriously. If you listen often enough, you can start to guess what song she is going to play, depending on the story from the caller. (I feel like there is potential for a drinking game here...) For example: whenever anyone calls to dedicate a song to their kid, it is almost guaranteed she will throw a little 'Baby, Baby' by Amy Grant up on the turntable, at which point I will get pissed off and change the station because that song makes me want to kill people. But I digress...

As much as I enjoy making fun of this particular radio show, I have also found myself balling my eyes out on the drive home because of an especially tender love story, or one I can identify with for one reason or another. I'm currently sorting through some feelings about various people in my life and I'm not gonna lie--there is a part of me that wants to give Delilah a ring, spill my guts and see what gem she comes up with for me...