SWF seeks DDFS/W/H/B/M for NSA fun...

Okay, I admit it. Sometimes when I'm bored, or need a good laugh, I peruse the personal ads on Craigslist. My favorite is the "missed connections" site. If you're unfamiliar with this, allow me to school you. Have you ever made eye contact with an attractive person in another car while stopped at a red light? Perhaps you exchange smiles or a wink. But, before you know it, the light has changed and you must continue driving. 'Damnit' you think... that could have been my soul-mate and now he's gone. Enter: Craigslist Missed Connections. Simply sit your ass down at the computer and type up a little something like...

Looking for my red light Prince Charming

You were in a dented, primer gray Ford Festiva

I only saw you for a second, but I felt a real connection

Respond with what kind of car I was driving so I know it's you.

I have read many that are equal parts 'romantic comedy plot' and 'restraining order waiting to happen'. The sheer volume of men who are searching for a lady they met in Walmart, is staggering. Then there are what I like to call the "morning after" posts. People that post on Saturday and Sunday mornings, trying to find the person they made out with at the club the previous night. Really? If they showed up for breakfast, would you even recognize them? I know I wouldn't.

I have nothing against using the internet to try to meet someone. I have friends on E-Harmony and Match.com and I actually know a few couples that met that way. Good for them, it's just not my bag. For one thing, it's too easy for me to completely discount people based on their abhorrent spelling and grammar. (So many men are "looking four a women to steel there hart") Secondly, when dudes try to take a picture of themselves to post with their ads, they always end up looking like serial killers. In the few months since starting this amusing pastime, I have read maybe three ads I would ever consider responding to, and it's because they made me laugh out loud. This is one I found the other day:

I am a normal person. I hang from trees. I teach school.

I am decent looking and not fat.

Real persons only. Women w/o penises only.

U wanna talk, subject line must mention something about toes.

I could get on board with this guy. It's also bizarre how many people just want someone to come over and cuddle with them, or watch a movie and snuggle on the couch. I have these people pegged as having just come out of a long-term relationship where those things were standard. Now, they don't necessarily want to go out on dates or have random hook-ups, but they desperately miss the day-to-day closeness of a relationship. I get that. There aren't many things I miss about my ex, but snuggling is one. If I ever place a personal ad, it will probably read something like:

SWF seeking M 'Teddy Bear' type to snuggle with for about 1/2 hour every night, after which time you must leave so I can roll over and get a decent night's sleep.

Must be non-smoker/non-snorer/non-gross

Heavy breathers with cold feet need not respond.