But he's a really mature 17...

Because I work in the restaurant industry, I find myself constantly surrounded by attractive, yet for various reasons, completely unavailable guys. There are the irresponsible slacker types, who spend their entire paycheck at the bar within 2 days, then spend the next 2 weeks bumming cigarettes until payday comes back around. Then there are the CommCorr guys, who are super nice, usually pretty hot, have sweet prison tattoos and a somewhat exciting air of danger about them. Yet, the fact is, they have a state-imposed curfew and must pee in a cup every night when they get "home". But, the most frustrating of all, has got to be "Jailbait". In restaurants, there is never a shortage of cocky, young high-school kids employed to wash dishes, bus tables and perform every other menial task that few functioning adults would ever consider doing for minimum wage. Now, I would never seriously entertain the idea of actually going after any of these adorable, impressionable young men--that would be sick and wrong--but, I have told more than one of them to look me up in 10 years when they are in their 20's and I am a full-blown cougar, at which point it will be, well, less weird. There is one young man imparticular, who has me cursing the universe every day, for bringing him into this world when I was freshman in high school. He is gorgeous, funny, sweet and built like a brick shit-house. He could throw me across a room and I know this because the other night I was apparently in his way, so he picked me up and moved me out of it. Grrr. Damn my parents for teaching me to have morals and a sense of decency. I think more than anything, these boys make me nostalgic for the guys I hung out with in high school and their presence provides a steady stream of amusement for me. From their torn metal T-shirts, down to their painted black fingernails, each one is a surreal blend of the guy I grew up with, my gay ex-boyfriend, and the boy who moved in down the street from me my sophmore year. They have that awkward coolness about them that I've always found so endearing. In a time when all the guys my age are beginning to go pre-maturely bald, or are loaded down with an assortment of baggage resulting from 20's-induced, poor decision making, it's refreshing to be surrounded by their naivete. Everything is new to them and much like I did when I was that age, they think they are quite clever. The other day, one of the more brazen 17-year old dishwashers approached me and said: "Hey Jess, if I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" Precious, I know. I smiled and told him I'd been using that line since he was in diapers.