I am beat. I had forgotten how much work it is to be a "girlfriend". From the "doing stuff together", to the "talking about your day", to the "having sex all the time"... it's exhausting. Plus, even if you aren't living together, you typically end up spending so much time together that it feels like you are. As a solitary person by nature, this is my biggest hurdle.
Over the last few years, I've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and routine, nerdy and loner-ish as it may be. I enjoy listening to NPR morning edition while I get ready for work. I can read or busy myself with seemingly mundane tasks like reorganizing my linen closet for hours on end and be perfectly content. And if we're being honest, I like being alone so I can burp, fart, talk to myself or take an un-self-conscious poop with the bathroom door open. It's the little things...
As anyone who knows me can attest, I have an uncanny gift for/annoying habit of comparing any life situation to an episode of either Friends or Sex and the City. I'm sort of like a Trekky, but with less pasty skin and better fashion sense. Recently, I was reminded of the episode of SatC, when Aiden moved in with Carrie and she started going crazy due to his constant presence and barrage of questions as soon as she walked in the door: "Where you been?" "Who'd you see?" "What'dya know?" I feel your pain, Carrie.
I try to tell myself to be less rigid and more open. I've gotten a little better over time, but what it comes down to is, I spend the majority of my life listening to other people's problems and drama due to my chosen line of work. Bartenders are basically underpaid shrinks without the luxury of a comfy leather chair and climate-controlled office. That being said, I don't think it's selfish to want silence and solitude, at least sometimes, during my off hours. The irony of course being, my Ex talked more than an auctioneer on speed and my Current also very much enjoys the sound of his own voice. I think it would behoove me to marry either a deaf/mute or a long-haul trucker...
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