Don't look back in anger....

It seems to me there is an age at which people start taking stock of their lives and asking questions. Questions like "What might have been?" I don't want to label it a "mid-life crisis" because I don't quite think I'm there yet, but it's similar and I find it happening all around me. Ghosts of lovers past, suddenly start popping up on facebook and the like to ask "How have you been?!" "What are you doing now?!" "Are you married?!?!"

I get it. I am at an age where my peers and I have perhaps had a serious relationship or two, maybe even popped out a couple of rugrats, but things ultimately didn't work out and now instead of looking bleakly ahead into the unknown, it appears a lot easier and more enticing to look hopefully and optimistically to the past.

What ever happened to So-and-So?, you muse one night over a bottle of merlot. You begin to think he might have been "the one" and you were too young and foolish to recognize it. You think "Hey, we both liked Marilyn Manson and Red Lobster and Beavis and Butthead reruns... how have we not reconnected and gotten married?" Thankfully, the next morning when I awaken surrounded by empty wine bottles, chocolate wrappers, old journals and my high school yearbook, I have the clarity and presence of mind to realize that ship has sailed.

However, there are those who think that because we went our separate ways and got our respective shit together, we should absolutely give things another shot because obviously it would work out this time. 15 years past and 2000 miles apart be damned! Never mind the only thing we ever had in common was alcohol and low self-esteem, let's turn our lives upside-down and give it a go!

Don't get me wrong, the temptation is there. Unfortunately, the few times I've ventured back down this road, I wound up feeling as though the idea of re-falling in love with someone from my past was more enticing than the reality. Not to say they aren't amazing people with a lot to offer, but some things were meant to end. Besides, I have a whole lot of fresh mistakes to make with shiny, brand-spanking new people... I don't have time for hindsight.