Too much information? Probably, but I don't care...

It's funny the things you have to consider when you start seeing someone after being single for a long time. Are my sheets clean? Is there anything weird lying around my apartment, like random tampons, or self-help books? Suddenly, thought needs to be given to your choice of underwear because someone besides yourself and your cats might be seeing it. Granny panties are no longer a viable option. You also have to think about your diet. Gone are the days of stuffing yourself full of pasta and garlic bread at dinner, unless you enjoy being very uncomfortable for the next 24 hours. Historically, I tend to lose about 10lbs when I start dating someone, simply from fear of eating anything offensive. My appetite, typically similar to that of a wildebeest, suddenly subsides when I realize I don't want to look 5 months pregnant later on during naked time. Last summer, I survived on a diet of wine, coffee and vitamin water for about 2 months. I looked great, but I was perpetually exhausted and sickly.

What's even funnier, in my experience, is once you are seeing someone for awhile, the opposite happens. When you get to a point in a relationship where you are comfy enough to fart in front of someone, all bets are off. When my ex and I first started dating, I was fairly uptight and prudish. I was also young and wholly uncomfortable with bodily functions. He on the other hand was older and had been married, so he'd seen it all and had no self-consciousness whatsoever about his body or anything it did. At first I was mortified by this, but after many a distressing morning of trying my best to wait until he left my apartment before I "took care of business", I broke down. I snuck into the bathroom, trying to be very quiet and stealthy, only to have him slip a note under the door a few minutes later that read:

"You are beautiful and so is your poop. :)"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. I honestly feel as though being that relaxed with someone was a huge step toward an intimacy I hadn't experienced before. It made me realize that if we grew old together (like we planned to), he would genuinely be there for me through sickness and health. If we had a baby, he would be in the delivery room waiting to cut the cord. If I drank too much, he would be there holding back my hair as I threw up and if, god forbid, I ever became an incontinent vegetable, he would bathe me and change my adult diapers. It was a comforting and reassuring feeling and something I had never given much thought to until that point.

On the flip side, when you're that cozy, it's easy to let yourself go--gain a little weight, stop shaving etc. Plus, it's not super romantic to "dutch-oven" somebody, let's be honest. So it seems like a happy medium is what is needed and desired. I guess that's probably what everyone is looking for, really. Someone who understands and accepts you are human but who you still strive to look pretty for and act respectful to, especially with regard to personal space. (Please don't drop a deuce while I'm in the shower...Sure it gives us extra time to talk about our respective days, but it's just gross.)