Thank God for chocolate...

One of my least favorite words in our current lexicon is "horny". It just sounds so crass and juvenile. However, there aren't many other words that can accurately convey the feeling I so often find myself overwhelmed by. Suffice it to say, it's been awhile and the more time that passes, the more wanton I become. There are days when a scent, an accidental glimpse of someone's mid-section as they reach for something on a high shelf, or the brief touch of someone's hand on my back as they pass by, practically incapacitates me with longing. 

Then there is music...I have some very specific memories attached to certain songs. Memories so vivid, that I have essentially become a sexual Pavlov's Dog. If I hear 'Machinehead' by Bush, I am suddenly 17-years old, dry-humping my high school boyfriend in the back of my Honda Civic after curfew. I had some of the best sex of my life while Kings of Leon played in the background and as a result, almost drove my car off the road the other day when one of their songs came on the radio. 

Now although I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, as a human being that craves physical contact with other human beings, the feeling is not always easily or thoroughly satiated. The problem with seeking outside assistance, is that it too can be unfulfilling. 

So, what's a gal to do? Pursue a relationship -however temporary- with someone I know, in order to gain the intimacy I crave? That's bad news because the intent isn't pure and people tend to get attached for the wrong reasons and end up hurt. 
Hire a male escort? Sure, they know their way around a G-spot, but EWW. Besides, who has that kind of money? 
Pick up a stranger at a bar? This is scary on many levels, plus then you need to think up a fake name and figure out how to sneak out of their house the next morning without waking them up. That's a lot of work. 

Since I am trying to make better decisions these days, I am less than thrilled with these options. On the upside, my dreams have been trying their damnedest to make up for the void in my reality and I've had ample free time to focus on learning Spanish, perfecting my banana bread recipe and performing charity work. (Note: I have done none of these things because the only thing I'm capable of focusing on is my unrelenting libidinousness. Yes, it's a word.) 

All I know is the next guy I date better have a strong back, a high tolerance for dehydration and be comfortable dating a virgin, because I'm pretty sure I am one again.