Let's be honest...

I received a 3 a.m. text from a good friend the other night, posing the question "Why do all guys think they are fantastic lovers, when most are merely adequate?" I did not have a good answer for her at the time, although since then, I've had time to ponder and ask around. Here are some of the theories I have come up with... My guess is that the number one culprit behind clueless guys thinking they are awesome, is "the girl who fakes orgasms". She is not a malicious girl, or someone who generally likes to deceive. More likely, she is non-confrontational, tired, or shy and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. We've all been there... when he is trying so hard, but he just isn't getting it. Faking is the easy way out, but I am here to tell you, you are only hurting yourself and perpetuating the vicious cycle of guys thinking they've pleased their ladies and therefore never learning what it actually takes. I beg of you ladies to stop this! If it's not going to happen, tell him! If he is doing it all wrong, by all means tell him! My friend and I decided there are really only two ways guys become good lovers: 1.) If they have sex with an older, experienced woman when they are young, before any fancy, ineffective moves learned from porno's become part of their plan. 2.) If they are in a long-term relationship sometime during their late teens or early 20's. This is an especially good learning tool, since a lot of experimenting takes place when you're young and because practice makes perfect. If and when (usually when) those early long-term relationships end, you are primed and ready to rock someone else's world. Another problem my friends and I have come across, is simple misrepresentation. Nothing is more irritating than being given the impression a guy is going to throw me up against a wall, but in reality he is totally submissive. Don't put it out there if you can't deliver. And for God's sake, don't exaggerate when eluding to size... we're not blind and we've all seen a ruler. Conversely, it can be a very pleasant surprise when someone is quiet and shy and you're not sure what to expect and they turn out to be incredible. I guess it's all part of the mystery and excitement of dating. But, I think we would all be better off being a little more open and honest. Life is too short for mediocre sex, and I for one, shall put up with it no longer.